I guess all is not well here. It's not like I'm not making any strides because I know I am, but it's almost like I'm spinning my wheels. I'm not putting together the whole package. My workouts have been great and taxing, but my eating has been sporadic at best. It's not overly difficult to find where to point the finger.
The problem is that putting together the entire package is what it takes to be successful. Yes there will be hiccups here and there, that's just life, but they MUST be kept to a minimum. Diet is the hardest part of this for me. I know that it's 90% of the battle. I think about it constantly. Honestly I feel like a walking contradiction. I workout hard to burn the calories, then I go F it up by eating the wrong stuff. How is it that I can make this decision to lose weight, and the go and consciously sabotage it. If you read thru my past posts, you'll see that I've gone in circles about 10 times. I'm up and then down, on a streak of doing well, then ruining it. To say that I'm sick of it is an understatement to the 10th degree. It's maddening. My stomach is all in knots right now. I think that the worst kind of disappointment must be when you disappoint yourself. There's no one else to place the blame on. There's no excuse that is worthy of being said. It all boils down to simple choices. No, I haven't broken this promise to myself yet because I've vowed not to this time, but I've really got to figure out how to do this right.
As I sit here and write I wonder what I'd say if I'd read this on one of your blogs. "We all go thru these times, but at least you've admitted where the fault lies. Now change your choices and start putting it all together. Who knows how far that'll take you." OR "Stop being such a pansy about all of this and just make the choices you know you're supposed to be making." OR "Wow, it looks like you've tried EVERYTHING, but apparently nothing works for you huh? Might as well quit, you're obviously just big boned."
I'm fast approaching 3 months on this journey, and I'm barely better for it. I won't kid you or myself with any bold statements of what I'm going to do to fix this. When I finally do make the right changes I'll let you know what they were. Who knows, maybe one of these days I'll figure out that it takes something other than the path of least resistance to get results.
15 comments:
I want you to feel shitty about this. Really take a minute and think about how you are letting yourself down, and how bad, and weak, that makes you feel.
Why?
Because I want you to think about that next time you're tempted to eat poorly. I want you to close your eyes and visualize how shitty it feels to be losing this battle.
Then, when you start succeeding, you can do the opposite. Visualize how good it feels to be winning, and use that.
I love when I get to reply and I'm not the asshole - Billy is ;)
Seriously, this is the struggle. You really have to choose to succeed, or waste your time. It ain't easy, it's something I've struggled with this whole time.
The bottom line is, you know the answers. And don't sell yourself short - you say you're not much better than you were 3 months ago, but 3 months ago would you have been able to PINPOINT what the problem is?
The problem is, you're eating like shit. Fix that. Until you do, you're spinning your wheels.
Signed,
The biggest hypocrite on these boards when it comes to this
Nahh he's not the asshole- I am. You're both just telling it like it is, but what you're saying isn't anything new. You're right, I do know the answers, its just a matter of applying them.
I love the hipocrite comment too, but I don't think giving out advice and encouragement puts you in that category. You've just experienced what I'm going thru. I'd say losing over 100 lbs gives you free reign to comment however you see fit.
I'm not really the motivator type, but I mean, why would you go and ruin all the work you did? Was it hard work? How did it feel to knowingly sit there and undo it?
But, have you really undone it? There are lots of other measures on the road to health other than weight loss. I'd find it hard to believe you are in no way a better man than you were when you started, even in some small way. Any progress really is progress. Sure, you could have come farther, but you've done something. Don't stop now, just keep your head down and keep moving. I dont see it as spinning wheels.
This has to be an attitude you develop. A lot of people look at a workout and think that it gives them the ability to eat whatever they want and still lose weight, but you can't.
What you need to do is look at it the way I do. Everytime I think I'm about to do something stupid, I stop and think about it:
"I did 125 jumping jacks this morning, I did 100 downhill skiers, I ran in place for five minutes, then I went to the mall and walked three miles. Do I REALLY want to eat this crap and waste all of that effort?"
Think before you do, bro, and you'll get there. If you let the food rule you, though, you're done.
kyle?
uhm...Kyle?
I think that there are more choices than the 'breakdown or the breakthrough. I think when you polarize like that it can be harder to press through. It's all about continuing some level of movement - your eating is not fantastic, but at least you're working out. Keep that up & channel it into further action. But, like I said to Melissa, I know from personal experience that the guilt & shame will just paralyze you. Let it go, and keep it moving.
come one now, dont disappear. let us know whats going on!
Your at another fork man... head back in this direction.
dude are you hanging up the gloves??? throwing in the towel??? whats up man?? Hope everything is going ok for you. Throw us a bone would you and let us know how things are going (good or bad it don't matter)?
errr, uhmmm,,,....Kyle?
Is anybody alive out there...is Kyle?
kyle put the fork down and come back to the blogging!
not giving up on me, but have given up on this blog, unsubscribing, let me know if you return
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