Monday, October 29, 2007

Once Apon A Time.....

I was an "athlete". Good enough to play 4 years of Varsity Basketball in High School. Good enough to have most of my college education paid for on a Baseball scholarship. Somewhere between then and now my body has digressed. I've been married to a beautiful woman for about 4 years, and we have 2 wonderful daughters. A 3 year old and a 3 month old. Like many of you whose posts I've read (btw....you're all the reason I have the courage to openly talk about the issues I have) I too have tried many of the fad diets hoping against hope that the "Newest Best" one would be the one to stick. I guess I'm stating the obvious when I say my being here, blogging of all things, shows that none of them have.


My story is very similar to many of the ones I've been reading online. I've always felt like the chubby kid, or the fat friend. In reading Billy's (of Billy's Lean Body Quest blog) thoughts on the "inner fat" that we all share, I realize that many of my thoughts were just that.....the inner fat talking. Looking back at pictures of times when I know that I thought I was the fat one now makes me laugh, shockingly enough I appear to be normal. Maybe its the fact that I've always had somewhat of a Ghetto Booty and that insecurity has turned into a feeling of being fat all over. Whatever the underlying thoughts were, and however funny those "fat" pictures may be now, I'm definitely in a place now where I need to take my body seriously. I guess you could say the my inner fat became a self fulfilling prophecy. As I write this here are my stats... 6'5" tall, 278 lbs, 42 inch waist, and 33% body fat.



The reason that I'm doing this is mainly to keep myself accountable to SOMETHING. I've started and stopped so many times I cannot remember, and I always look back at wasted time and regret not sticking with it. I don't have a detailed plan as of today but I hope in the coming days and weeks that I will build one that I can stick to. I want to do this for my wife, to become the man she married once again, she deserves it. I want to do this for my daughters to show them that not everything in life is going to come easy, but if you work hard enough, that you can achieve what seems unattainable. I want to do this for my Mom, Dad, and Sister, because we've all struggled with these issues for a long time now, and I want to inspire them to push harder towards the success I know they can achieve. Most of all I want to do this for me. If it makes any sense.....I'm THRU with being sick and tired of being sick and tired. I'm a good person with a good heart who genuinely cares about others, but for a long time I've been turning a blind eye to my own problems with weight. For a long time I've had this self image in my head that is actually quite fit, until I see myself in a mirror or a reflection in a window reveals the truth. It's not muscle.....it's fat. I want today to mark the beginning of my journey.



The start of every marathon begins with 1 step........... I think I've just taken it. Thank you all for inspiring me to do better.

5 comments:

Marcol said...

Thanks for your story Kyle and welcome. You have named your reasons for doing this and I think keeping those in the front of your mind every step will be a good thing. Remember every week will be different. You cant control how your body responds to what you do just be consistent and not lose faith and watch youll be where you desire to be at the of this particular journey.

I look forward to reading more from you, I enjoyed your writing.

PS - Im a former female varsity Basketball player who understands where youre coming from with an athletic past. Lets regroup and regain the lost ground!

Kyle you CAN do this!

GeneTheK said...

Welcome Kyle! I'm relatively new here myself.

You found this group for a reason - just like I did, just like most of the coalition did.

Your story is yet to be written. I look forward to reading more about your journey.

kyle said...

Thanks Marcol and Gene for your comments. I'm just excited to be a part of such a positive group. I think that being here is going to go a long way towards keeping me on track. I'll certainly enjoy the interaction.

Thanks again for taking time to give a few thoughts. It's much appreciated!! Have a great day.

Kyle

billy said...

Howcome at 6'0 I'm one of the shortest guys around here? What the hell have you people been eating???

Welcome, Kyle

Kristen said...

i was going to say something all the TALL people here. what is up with that?