Has it really been that long since I posted?? Goodness, you can see why this may not have worked in the past. Anyway, the workout part of P90X is going good, but my problem has always been the eating. It's like I work out to break even which I fully understand is counterproductive. Anyways I'm at work, but I'm seriously contemplating entering everything that I eat into this blog everyday. That way there's no hiding. At the same time, my mind is saying "sure theres no hiding, but who's really going to care if you don't?" That's just it, it's the eating that kills my workouts, but it's my mind that kills all of this. It's like give in to being mentally weak when it comes to this stuff. That's sad huh. I need to find a way, ANY way to stay on a track. I guess I'll keep you posted. Take care for now!!!

First Steps Again

So I'm starting my initial 2 weeks of P90X over. Not for the reasons you think though. I've done pretty well at sticking to the program. It's just that I have a buddy that had to go out of town for the next two weeks that started the program at the same time that I did. I figure that if I do the first two weeks over again, that we'll fall back on the same timeframe when he gets back. Who says it has to be 90 days anyway :). As long as I'm continuously working out, I'll be feeling pretty good. Plus I don't want this to finite timeframe anyway. This is something that is a jumpstart to a healther "best" me. Holy cow, I looked at the BeachBody.com website for the first time this week, and was blown away by the contest winners. Their body changes are nothing short of amazing, and truly inspirational. I'd like to see if I can match their accomplishments.

Anyway, keep plugging, and I'll be back soon. Take care!!

SORE!!!

Today is day 4 of P90X and I'm really liking it. I've found that it's much easier to get up early in the morning to workout if you know you just have to walk to your living room. It was always tough to drag myself out when I knew I had to drive to workout. So I just got finished with the Yoga disk, and it was no big surprise that I could barely keep up. Flexibility is not my forte, but I know its a key part of being strong and healthy. Not only am I not flexible, but I'm really sore from days 1-3. I knew that I worked my tail off during the Plyometrics workout, but I didn't realize that it was much more than just a great cardio workout. My legs were dead yesterday, and extremely sore. The best part about it though is realizing that you're really working parts of your body that have been stagnant for quite a long time. The soreness almost validates the hard work you're doing. Anyways, I'll keep you posted as I continue on this first of twelve weeks. Off to work!!!

No Promises

Wow......so it's coming up on 2 years now that I started writing this thing and here I sit...same computer...same keyboard, same view out on the back yard, and same ME. Still the same father, with two little girls (bigger now), a beautiful wife (pregnant now, fingers crossed for a boy), that wants to do better. It's a feeling that never goes away. That always feeling just a little bit uncomfortable with how you look. My self confidence still kept in check by my self image. It's eerie to look back on the posts that I wrote that long ago and see how much of it still holds true. The more things change the more they stay the same, right? I sort of feel like I was just paying lip service to everyone that was reading. It's like deep down I knew that "Hey, you're still you, even when you write all these fancy words. You're still going to give up the chase at some point, right? Isn't that what you've always done?" I know I know...........crappy attitude, but pretty much right on.
I never wanted to be that guy. The one that starts a blog only to drift away unnoticed a few months later. I figured this writing and people reading would bring me back, you know, keep me motivated and accountable. In the end it didn't, and I'm bummed about that when I think about it, because there were a lot of good people that I was keeping up with that I'm sure are gone now. It really was neat to gain a little glimpse into each of their lives, and to share a little of mine. Well all I can say is that I hope they all succeeded in their quests for fitness, and that hopefully this will be my last hoorah. The one that starts the snowball at the top of the mountain, just the tiny spec that will continue to roll down the hill of life picking up speed and......where am I going with this. Bad analogy, the snowball gets bigger and bigger, when I just want to get smaller and smaller.
See what happens when you don't post in 2 years, you ramble. What brought this on is that I started P90X today, and I'm excited. I'm pretty sure that 90% of the world has completed their first rotation of this workout series, but better late than never is what I always say. I'm going to try to chronicle my little journey here. No promises, but we'll see. UNTIL NEXT TIME......

The Fork

I guess all is not well here. It's not like I'm not making any strides because I know I am, but it's almost like I'm spinning my wheels. I'm not putting together the whole package. My workouts have been great and taxing, but my eating has been sporadic at best. It's not overly difficult to find where to point the finger.

The problem is that putting together the entire package is what it takes to be successful. Yes there will be hiccups here and there, that's just life, but they MUST be kept to a minimum. Diet is the hardest part of this for me. I know that it's 90% of the battle. I think about it constantly. Honestly I feel like a walking contradiction. I workout hard to burn the calories, then I go F it up by eating the wrong stuff. How is it that I can make this decision to lose weight, and the go and consciously sabotage it. If you read thru my past posts, you'll see that I've gone in circles about 10 times. I'm up and then down, on a streak of doing well, then ruining it. To say that I'm sick of it is an understatement to the 10th degree. It's maddening. My stomach is all in knots right now. I think that the worst kind of disappointment must be when you disappoint yourself. There's no one else to place the blame on. There's no excuse that is worthy of being said. It all boils down to simple choices. No, I haven't broken this promise to myself yet because I've vowed not to this time, but I've really got to figure out how to do this right.

As I sit here and write I wonder what I'd say if I'd read this on one of your blogs. "We all go thru these times, but at least you've admitted where the fault lies. Now change your choices and start putting it all together. Who knows how far that'll take you." OR "Stop being such a pansy about all of this and just make the choices you know you're supposed to be making." OR "Wow, it looks like you've tried EVERYTHING, but apparently nothing works for you huh? Might as well quit, you're obviously just big boned."

I'm fast approaching 3 months on this journey, and I'm barely better for it. I won't kid you or myself with any bold statements of what I'm going to do to fix this. When I finally do make the right changes I'll let you know what they were. Who knows, maybe one of these days I'll figure out that it takes something other than the path of least resistance to get results.

Head Down, Blinders On....

Weight (last night) - 265 lbs

That's where I'm at right now. I haven't blogged in almost a week so I felt like I should say something, but honestly right now I don't have much to report. I'm doing well, and the workouts are going good. I still feel like I need to push my body a little harder when I'm doing the weights, but the cardio sessions have been great. Last night I did 22 min of HIIT on the elliptical at level 12 - - 45 sec at or above 75 rpm / 45 around 60 rpm - - which worked great for the heart rate. Then I moved on to the Stair Climber (with the actual rotating steps, whatever that thing is called) for 30 mins @ level 5 on the "Fat Burner Plus" program. So apparently, not only did I burn some fat, I also added a little something extra on top of it. Whatever it was, I walked away from the gym happy with that session. I don't know about all of you, but I calculate the intensity of my workout (especially cardio) based on the dampness of my shirt when I leave. I know it's not the most scientific approach, but that's how I know that I pushed myself outside my comfort level. When my 30 mins were up on the Super Rotating Step Machine, the screen flashed "GOAL ATTAINED"!! Unfortunately I hadn't dropped 70 lbs in that half hour, but it still felt good to see that phrase. One day my ultimate weight loss goal will be attained, and I know that that machine will be a big part of why.

Have a great day!!! Talk to you all soon!

Drawing Inspiration

For most of us inspiration isn't much of a problem. It's all around us. I'm inspired by all of your hard work which is obviously paying off. My daughters and wife inspire me to do better. I see someone with a body that I'd like to have, and again I'm inspired. With that being said, there is one way that I, for whatever reason, rarely draw inspiration..........thru music. Not that I don't appreciate what goes into writing the lyrics to a song, quite the contrary actually, but I just don't often take the words and apply them to a certain aspect of my life. Anyways where I'm going with this is that I guess I'm going to take a page out of Gene's book and quote a portion of a song that for some reason is inspiring me. The song is called "Prayer of the Refugee" by a band called Rise Against. The second verse has been stuck in my head for a while now, it goes:

"We are the angry and the desperate, the hungry and the cold.

We are the ones that kept quiet, and always did what we were told."

"But we've been sweating while you slept so calm in the safety of your home,

we've been pulling out the nails that hold up everything you've known."

I've thought about why this particular verse inspires me into action. I feel like represents the person inside of me, my alter ego maybe. I've recently started getting up very early (4:30 this morning!!) to do my workouts, so the third line gets me going in the morning. It makes me realize that there are MANY people out there working to better themselves while I sleep, and I want to be one of those people. And the last line makes me think of all the bad habits that I'm in the process of breaking, "pulling out the nails that hold up everything I've known" so that I can build a new lifestyle.

So there it is. Counting this morning I've worked out 4 times since Sunday so I'm definitely on the right track. The key is to continue when I start seeing results, not to get complacent. My eating has been spot on with the exception of a little indulgence at lunch yesterday. I think that I'm going to start posting a weekly weigh in similar to what Brian does so that I can see my progress. I weigh myself more often than that, but not every day so a weekly or 5 day average might be tough to come by until I can invest in a quality scale for home. I'll start doing it on Mondays.

I hope this finds you all doing well. Keep workin'............I'll talk to you later :)~